


Determination

by TheHomestuckWhovian



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, majority of the characters are just mentioned.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-08 12:17:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5496770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHomestuckWhovian/pseuds/TheHomestuckWhovian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frisk's conversations with Sans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Visit

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be so shitty.

"Hey Sans. I don't know if you are listening, or if you even want to listen.

"Mom is worried. She keeps talking to Dr. Alphys quietly when she doesn't think I'm listening. Dr. Alphys told Mom that you are alive, but that you lack something to keep you alive.

"Papyrus is scared. Mettaton didn't finish his tour, and is staying with him while you are here. Undyne visits him everyday, and cooks because he is so upset he doesn't even feel like making spaghetti. He wishes...you had told him. That you hadn't tried to hide how you were feeling for so long. He is being really affectionate to everyone now, because he is afraid that he won't notice one of us feeling bad.

"They don't know. I didn't tell them. I don't know if I ever will tell them the truth. I don't know how to tell them that I know why you did this. Why you've been not okay for a long time. They keep telling me that you'll be alright, but I heard what Dr. Alphys said.

"You don't have the will to live. What is keeping you alive is Dr. Alphys' life support. Unless you recover on your own, the only thing that could even help a little is a determination injection, but we all know what happens if she does that.

"Y-You don't deserve to be here. If anything, I deserve to be in your place. It's my fault after all. I'm the one who made you feel like you needed to do this.

"I won't reset again. I won't. Not even to a load spot. Just, please wake up, Sans. I'm sorry.

"...

"I'm sorry. I need to calm down. I need to be strong for everyone. They need me to be. 

"I'll have enough determination for the both of us, Sans. So please, hold on for everyone. Mom cries every time she hears a pun, and Papyrus is barely sleeping because you aren't there to read to him like you always are.

"Just hold on, please?"


	2. Second Visit

"Hey Sans.

"You still aren't getting better. Dr. Alphys is worried that you might not live to see the first Barrier Fall celebration.

"I'm supposed to go, since I'm the ambassador, but I don't want to. I don't think it is fair to celebrate when one of my friends is stuck in a coma.

"Asgore came over today, and made dinner. Mom is still weird around him, but she really appreciates that he is trying to help her through this. I know he still loves her, but he also recognizes that she loves you now.

"I suppose the cats out of the bag. Whoops. It was pretty obvious though. Even Papyrus was aware of it. We thought it was funny that neither of you realized it. We were actually planning on getting you two together at the Barrier Fall celebration. But, then he found you...

"Grillby came by. Apparently an anonymous donation was made to pay off your tab there, so you don't owe him cent for all that food you would get. I think all the Grillby's customers miss you too.

"Papyrus told me to bring you this card. He wasn't feeling well due to lack of sleep, so Mettaton refused to let him come today. It is the fiftieth card he has made you. He even put a horrible pun on it. He really misses you a lot.

"Your presents are piling up. I think the majority of the former Snowdin residents have visited at least once each, and almost every person who has come has brought cards or balloons or some other present. Mom bought a joke book for you, with a promise written inside that you two could tell each other the jokes when you wake up.

"Mettaton held a concert in honor of you. It might have been the only time he has left Papyrus' side since you've been in here. Napstablook and Shyren have been working on some music, and they said it was for you to listen to when you wake up. They refuse to let anyone else hear it until you do.

"Funny, even Flowey asks about you whenever someone returns from visiting you. He says it's because I won't quit whining about you being in here, but I think he is actually starting to care about others. He hasn't referred to you with a mean word since you ended up here. He also told me to tell you that he kind of knows how it feels.

"I'm still trying to be determined for you, Sans. You have to find the will to live. Everyone misses you. Even some of the other people at the embassy sent some cards when they heard you were in here. That is a big improvement from before.

"Mr. Bradley even admitted the whoopie cushion prank was kind of funny.

"Just, hold on, okay? I promise I won't reset. Just stay with us. If not for me, then for Mom and Papyrus."


	3. Recollection

"You still are in the same condition. You have to get better, Sans. It's getting hard to be determined for you.

"...

"Remember that thing that happened a few months ago?

"I was helping Mom in the kitchen, cutting carrots like she asked me to.

"You came in, asking if dinner was close to ready yet.

"...

"I should have put down the knife before turning to you. You panicked and my soul turned blue. You threw me around the kitchen until Mom came back in and screamed. Undyne tackled you until you calmed down.

"You apologized over and over again, but all I could think about was how I should have been the one apologizing.

"I'm the one who damaged you so much. I'm the one who just kept resetting over and over again. I'm the one who...

"I shouldn't cry. I really shouldn't. I just still feel very guilty, for everything. It doesn't matter how many times you or Flowey said that I didn't actually do it, I still did it. I abused an ability so much that I made you think that you couldn't enjoy anything because it would all just reset. I allowed myself to kill so many monsters. Flowey, Undyne, Mettaton. Mom. Pap-Papyrus.

"I won't cry. I don't deserve to cry. I don't deserve to be this happy.

"...

"They are probably looking for me right now. I'm supposed to be at the Barrier Fall celebration. They are going to show the statues of the seven kids who fell before me. Mom knows all their names, and she cried when Asgore first suggested the idea. I paid my respects to them already. They have all the items that helped me in the Underground, the things that used to belong to them, but no one will know that until they are unveiled. I'm supposed to give a speech, but it didn't seem fair to celebrate while one of my friends is stuck here. Asgore will probably give a speech in my place, being the king of monsters.

"...

"Papyrus finally is sleeping again, but he still won't cook. He just doesn't feel like it without you there. He misses you so much.

"Mom...is coping. She acts like she is used to it. I don't think you can ever really get used to people you care about getting hurt though. She watched eight children die, and she really loves you. She hasn't made a joke in a long time. Asgore is worried. He knows Mom better than I do, and so he recognizes that she really is in a bad place right now. I guess we all are.

"I won't reset again. I promise. I won't load a save or anything. Please wake up, Sans."


	4. Promises

"Hey Sans. It's been two months. Alphys is more worried than ever.

"I'm just...tired. I'm so tired of waking up from nightmares and being unable to go back to sleep. Flowey keeps telling me to go to sleep, because if I die of lack of sleep, no one will stop anyone from throwing him out of the house. He...sounds concerned. He shouldn't be. I'm fine. It's better if I don't go to sleep, though.

"I always have had nightmares since we left the mountain, but not as often as they are now. I keep seeing you dead, and that scares me because it really could happen.

"I'm just really...really...tired..."

"...

"...

"...

"..."

"Hey bonehead.

"Don't get your basketball shorts in a twist. I'm not Frisk.

"Frisk is getting some desperately needed sleep. I'm an entirely different person. Don't ask why. I'm going to explain.

"My name is Chara, and I'm going to tell you a story.

"Once upon a time, there was a little kid who was shit on all their life. Their parents considered them useless and awful, other people hated them for their short temper and tendency to get into fights.

"And they so badly wanted to disappear.

"So they traveled to a mountain, thinking that if they stayed there for a while, they eventually would die and be out of everyone's hair forever.

"But then, they came across a pit. And they jumped down, thinking it was a great way to off themselves. They realized they didn't want to die when they landed, and cried for help because they suddenly decided they wanted to live. And they were found by a monster boy who took them home to his parents and they became part of the family.

"The kid never got over their self loathing though, and it didn't help when they accidentally got their father deathly sick. So, with a smile they had trained themselves to wear when bad stuff happened, they killed themselves and gave their soul to their new brother in an attempt to free everybody and hurt the people that had hurt them. The plan failed though.

"Years later, another kid fell down, for a different, but similar reason, and a demon possessed them. And that kid was Frisk. Frisk was in such a bad place that the demon began manipulating them, fueling them with their hate. It took one death for Frisk to realize they didn't want this, so they forced a reset. The demon was mad, and attempted to get Frisk to kill everyone again, but Frisk instead chose to show mercy, and began caring about every single one of the monsters. They refused to fight. They eventually told the demon the truth; they weren't a demon at all. They were just a lost kid who had gotten so caught up in their hate, and Frisk retaught them how to love. They reset over and over again for only one purpose after that.

"They wanted to save one last monster. But, no matter what they did, there was no solution that they could find. The best they could do was bring him up to the surface, and give him a chance to find his own happy ending.

"Sans, I was the kid, and I was the demon, and Frisk will tell you over and over that it is their fault, but they are full of shit. I was the one who manipulated them, and I'm the one who killed you and your brother. I'm the one who made the sadistic decision to keep resetting to kill you all. And I'm not going to beg for forgiveness I don't deserve. I'm just going to tell you this, so maybe it really sinks into your skull, because I'm sick of Frisk crying themselves to sleep at night because they believe that you never would have done this if they had never existed.

"I won't hurt you, or Papyrus ever again. I won't hurt anyone. Not Mom, not Dad, not As-Flowey, not Undyne, or Alphys, or even that freaking dog that Frisk likes so much that I think is so annoying. And I get what if feels like not to want to live anymore, but Frisk is helping me, and so is everyone else, even if they don't know I'm there.

"And, because maybe this will get through to you, I will never, _ever_ reset again, for as long as I remain with Frisk. So find some part of you that wants to live, because I know a lot of people out here that want you to."

"SANS! I BROUGHT YOU ANOTHER CARD!"

"That'll be Papyrus. I'm going to take a backseat and let Frisk sleep. Goodnight Sans."

"..."

"Oh dear. Frisk has fallen asleep. I guess I better take them home, Papyrus. Tell me if anything changes."

"OF COURSE YOUR MAJESTY."

"..."

"I'll see you tomorrow, Sans."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't know why. Just...sorry.


	5. Final

"Hey Sans.

"Sorry I fell asleep last time I visited. I was really tired.

"Flowey finally demanded that I either get some sleep medicine or he'll eat every piece of pie Mom leaves me for the rest of my life. I guess he really was concerned."

"..."

"F-Funny thing about Flowey, is that he pretends not to care a lot, but he-he really does."

"..."

"I won't cry. I won't cry. I won't-I won't..."

"..."

"I suck at being strong sometimes. Undyne would be so disappointed."

"What did you say about me, punk?!"

"Agh! Undyne! Put me down!"

"I won't until I hear positive laughter instead of negative tears! Don't give up on Sans! He'll pull through!"

"You're tickling me! Okay! You win!"

"Glad to hear it!"

"Please, Undyne! Don't suplex Frisk!"

"Sorry ma'am. I was alerted to a situation. This punk here was being negative, and I had to remind them that Sans isn't going anywhere on my watch!"

"Mom, help! She won't stop!"

"I-I'll help you Frisk! I know her weakness!"

" _Sie sind das essen und wir sind die jager!_ "

"Oh no! I love that theme song! Alphys, you are both a traitor and amazing!"

"Undyne, Alphys, please resist the urge to sing along to the theme."

"I BROUGHT ANOTHER CARD FOR...WHAT IS HAPPENING?"

"Alphys saved me from being tickled to death by Undyne by playing the Attack on Titan theme. Isn't that the one hundred and fiftieth get well soon card?"

"YES. I JUST WANT HIM TO KNOW THAT I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT HIM THE ENTIRE TIME WHEN HE WAKES UP!"

"I don't think he will doubt it, Papyrus."

"Mom, are you going to smooch Sans when he wakes up?"

"Frisk please don't-"

"Yeah, Toriel! You should get on that when he wakes up!"

"Undyne I do not feel comfortable talking about my love life."

"So you admit it, Mom. You do love Sans."

"Of course child, but..."

"But nothing! Former Queen Toriel, you need to smooch the fu-I mean freaking skeleton!"

"IT IS LONG OVERDUE!"

"My otp...gone."

"It's alright, Alphys."

"Um, hello? I can't get through the balloons. I'm afraid I might pop them."

"THE KING CAN'T GET THROUGH! I'LL HELP YOU, YOUR MAJESTY!"

"I am not king anymore, Papyrus."

"Hey Asgore!"

"I brought some flowers from the garden for Sans. I hope he doesn't mind them."

"I'm sure he will really appreciate them. Thank you, Asgore."

"Uh, no problem Toriel."

"Oh no. It got awkward."

"Friendship suplex!"

"No! Undyne! Stop!"

"heh."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Sans!"

"woah kid. calm down. you act like you haven't seen me in years."

"It felt like it!"

"SANS! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH! I'M SO GLAD YOU ARE AWAKE!"

"You made us worried, bonehead. When you are out of bed, be prepared for revenge noogies!"

"Papyrus, Frisk, I need to give him a check up, see how he is doing."

"Mom, are you crying?"

"hey, tori. sorry if i made you feel-"

"SANS, DON'T YOU DARE!"

"bonely."

"..."

"..."

"Well, I'm going to go."

"U-Uh, me too! I need to get the reading from my scanner on my computer. Come on, Undyne. Let's go with the king."

"..."

"Papyrus, are you going to scre-"

"I KNEW IT!"

"woah, bro. calm down."

"Sorry, we are both a bit excited because you and Mom finally kissed!"

"Please don't announce it to the entire facility, Frisk."

"yeah, kiddo. besides, i have a skeleton to catch up on."

"SANS I AM GLAD YOU ARE AWAKE BUT PLEASE REFRAIN FROM THE PUNS!"

"what, aren't they humerous?"

"ARGH!"

"I think they are great, tibia honest."

"FRISK IS MY ONLY ALLY!"

"Hey Mom? I know you really want to smooch him again, but can I talk to him privately?"

"F-Frisk!"

"don't be ashamed, tori. i kinda want another kiss myself."

"..."

"I'LL GO INTO THE HALLWAY WITH TORIEL. THEN WE WILL READ ALL THE CARDS I SENT YOU!"

"can't wait, papyrus."

"..."

"I'm sorry."

"about what?"

"It's my fault."

"kid, this has nothing to do with you. i've been dealing with this issues since before you were a thought."

"But I-"

"it's fine, frisk. you are a good kid, and i'm glad i know you. don't blame yourself for this."

"..."

"it's okay, frisk. you don't have to worry anymore."

"I won't reset ever again."

"i know. thank you."

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yep, this is shitty.


End file.
